zhè / piān / wén zhāng / cái liào / fēng fù / dàn / yǔ yán / lüè xiǎn / rǒng cháng / hái / xū yào / shì dàng / shān xuē

这篇文章材料丰富，但语言略显冗长，还需要适当删削。

This article is rich in content, but its language is somewhat wordy and still needs to be trimmed appropriately.